June 11, 2019

WARNING: Puns Ahead! Humor To Help Us To LIGHTEN UP! :)

WARNING: Puns Ahead!
[source: Jokes Galore]

Love 'em or hate 'em, it's Pun time. Puns, or "groaners" like some folks like to call them are fun. Try 'em on your friends and relatives. But keep a straight face when you tell them and be prepared for GROANS. Then you'll see why they are called so. Enjoy and pass 'em on!

1.  Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
2.  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3.  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
4.  My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
5.  Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
6.  Practice safe eating: always use condiments.
7.  I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
8.  A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
9.  Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
10. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
11. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
13. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
14. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
15. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
16. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
17. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
18. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
19. Banning the bra was a big flop.
20. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
21. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
22. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
23. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
24. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
25. Without geometry, life is pointless.
26. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
27. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
28. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
29. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

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