The Wall Street Journal
written by Saurabh Chaturvedi, Krishna Pokharel, Tripti Lahiri and Pracheta Sharma
Tuesday September 10, 2013
In an interview ahead of the verdict in one of most closely watched criminal trials in India in recent years, The Wall Street Journal spoke to the parents of the woman at the heart of the trial.
The 23-year-old student was repeatedly raped on a moving bus in the Indian capital on Dec. 16, and later died of her injuries. Four men have been tried on charges that include murder, rape and kidnapping. They have pleaded not guilty. A judge is expected to announce his decision today.
In a rare interview, her parents told The Wall Street Journal what this tragedy has taught them about their lives and their country. The woman and her parents cannot be named for legal reasons.
While they have recently moved to a new middle-class home, which was given to them by the Delhi government, in many ways, the family – who moved from a village in northern Uttar Pradesh state to the capital about 30 years ago for a better life – represents the millions of people in this country who have worked hard to achieve the “Indian dream.”
The woman’s father, who studied through the 10th grade, used to work as a mechanic at an appliance factory in Delhi. At the time of the attack on his daughter, the 53-year-old worked at the city’s airport as a baggage handler, earning about $120 a month.
The woman’s mother, who studied up to the eighth grade, looks after the family home. On the day of the interview, the 46-year-old was just finishing preparing a hot meal of spicy vegetables and lentils, and was waiting for her sons to come home so the family could eat together. “The pressure cooker whistle may go off,” she warned reporters.
The woman who was attacked has two younger brothers, aged 21 and 16. The older brother is headed to Bangalore this month to study aeronautical engineering. The younger brother a few months ago started studying at a prestigious private school in Delhi.
In a wide-ranging conversation in Hindi, both parents spoke about what they would tell other young women about how to balance staying safe and living their lives, how Indian society perceives men and women and why this crime merits the death penalty.
Edited excerpts:
WSJ: Have you been satisfied with the trial process?
Father: The court has a process. All the witnesses who are listed have to come before the court. Then only can a verdict come.
The court also went on break for a month. Sometimes the defense lawyers weren’t there. There were delaying tactics. So the court’s hands were also tied. But we feel the trial has proceeded correctly.
The problem is with the juvenile [suspect, who was sentenced by a juvenile board in August to serve three years in a reformatory for his role in the crime.] For being six months younger than 18, he’s getting away. I feel bad about that. Let’s see what happens with that.
WSJ: You made repeated calls for the death penalty for the alleged perpetrators of this crime. It isn’t possible for us to put ourselves in your situation. But if, as a society, we act out of anger towards the perpetrators…
Mother: It’s not anger. We’re asking for the death sentence because we don’t want anyone else’s daughter to have to face what happened with our daughter. For eight months we are talking to everyone, to the media, on camera as we are talking to you. We are not doing this so that we get to take revenge against those who are in jail for what happened to our daughter. We speak out, we ask for the death sentence because these incidents are happening all the time.
If they don’t get the death sentence and…if they get out after 10 years then no one – not the law and not society – can guarantee that they won’t to do the same thing again. That is why we ask for the death penalty.
If they are hanged, it won’t bring my daughter back. But if they are executed a message – the right message — will go out to those who are outside, to the public. The person who might commit a crime will think, ‘If I do this, I will be punished severely.’
WSJ: Will you accept the court’s verdict, no matter what it is?
Mother: We have faith in the court. The way our girl was…they should get the death penalty. If they don’t get the death penalty after committing a crime like this, there will be no end to such crimes in coming days.
WSJ: The wife of one of the suspects is 20 and has young baby. She lives in a society where a husband is everything. For a woman in her situation, life is precarious. Is there anything you would want to say to her?
Mother: She is 20. My girl, who grew up here, I brought her up for 23 years, took care of her and educated her. And they did this to her. You must have read what they did. The four of us have been living with that for eight months. And as long as we live, we’ll live with that. What would you like to say to us?
The journalist who was attacked, we prayed for her that she would get better soon. But as long as she lives, when she goes down a road, two men will whisper, ‘That’s that journalist.’ What would you like to say to her?
People say about us, ‘They got a house, they got money.’ But are we going to get back what we lost?
WSJ: A lot has happened in recent months. Are you at a new point…
Father: No. We’re still at the same place where we were on the night of December 16.
That incident became a crossroads, where people from all sides came and joined us, and as time went by…how long could they stay in the same place with us? But we haven’t moved on because we are waiting for the verdict to get closure.
We don’t think about work, or earning money, or educating the children; all we think about is what the decision will be.
WSJ: Until it comes you can’t move ahead.
Father: No. Not a day goes by, where someone in the house is not crying. Every morning I wake up and look at her photo and it brings tears to my eyes when I see her face and her innocence.
Only someone who has gone through this can understand a parent’s pain. How can I put it into words? I am still at the same place today.
WSJ: Where do you draw your courage from? And your daughter?
Father: We always taught her not to bend before anyone.
She got this name, ‘Nirbhaya’ [The Hindi word meaning “the fearless one” was used as a pseudonym for the rape victim by Indian news media], because of her nature. She was a fearless girl. If she saw that someone was doing something wrong, she wouldn’t hesitate to fight. That was how special she was.
Even if I did something wrong or dishonest, she wouldn’t talk to me for days. One time I remember we were traveling in a bus together and I did not buy our tickets. She knew I did that on purpose to save money. She did not talk to me for four days. She must have been 16 or 17. I had to say sorry to her and say I wouldn’t do it again.
She used to think a lot about what we needed to do, how we needed to move ahead. She was very ambitious. If she had lived, perhaps we would have moved into a house like this anyway after a year without the government’s help. And that would have been a real joy.
We have worked very hard, in 16-hour shifts to educate our children. If you look at that time, we were very happy. Sometimes we wouldn’t eat vegetables all week. But we were very happy. We figured once better times came we’d eat better.
WSJ: Parents are worried about their daughters. They think, ‘What might happen to them outside the home, at work?’ What would you say to those mothers and fathers?
Father: You’re not going to solve any problems by sitting at home. We have to get the fear out of our minds. Rapes are happening. There’s no point sitting with our hands folded. We have to find a solution. Who will do that? You have to search, I have to search, society has to search, the government has to search. Every problem has a solution somewhere.
People think ‘Maybe we won’t let our daughters study; we’ll get them married.’ But this is not a solution to the problem. This is running away from a problem. I won’t say, ‘Don’t let the girls study.’ Make your daughters tougher so they can face a problem. You saw what happened to our daughter. With all her strength, as long as she had life in her, she fought and tried to save herself.
There’s a saying that the darkest hour is before dawn. Perhaps the fact that we are seeing a surge in rapes means an end to this is also coming soon.
Mother: It’s OK to worry. But it’s not OK to place restrictions on going out, on studying. If they don’t study how will they get ahead in their lives? It’s necessary for girls to study, to go out. There’s nothing for girls to be ashamed of. The people who commit the crimes should be ashamed.
Keep fighting the fight. And claim your rights. If people are saying that women should have equal rights, then women have to fight for those rights.
This much is true: something isn’t right in our society. If something is happening to a woman, as a friend, as a brother, men should help them, and not join in the harm.
WSJ: When something like this happens to a woman…
Father: It’s almost like it has become a sin to be a girl. People think if there weren’t girls there wouldn’t be rapes. But it’s not a sin to be a girl. Society has turned it into a sin.
Girls aren’t less capable than boys. In fact today, if you see, girls do better at school. In every field they’re doing well. They keep a cool mind, they have good thoughts. Boys look at girls, but girls never look at boys.
People should think about what they teach at home. If someone has a sister, they should also respect other peoples’ sisters and daughters; then only our society will change.
Mother: People always blame the woman. They say, ‘She wasn’t dressed properly.’ They say, ‘Why was she out so late?’ Why are all the rules for girls?
WSJ: Suppose a woman wants to study or work in another city or do something no one in her family has done before. What should her parents do, should they allow her to go?
Father: Wherever she wants to study, they should allow her. But absolutely, I must say there has to be a time after which she comes home. If her goal is to study, that also has to have a time limit. For example, the working day is eight hours. So after eight hours, you stop working. After sunset she should come home. Like birds, who are up with the light and back in the nest by sundown.
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