85th Annual Academy Awards!!!

It's that time of year again. The OSCARS!!!! Okay let's see do I have everything I need? chips and dip (CHECK), tub of Red Vines (CHECK), pizza is on the way (CHECK) and Samuel Adams beer in hand (CHECK) Yep I'm ready to take it all in now... WooHoo! :)

The Man, His Son And The Donkey

The Man, His Son And The Donkey

[source: Morally Right]

Once an old man and his son were walking with their donkey to the fair to sell it. They passed a group of people on the road. A countryman noticed that the donkey was walking alongside them and laughed, “You fools, why don't you let the ass carry you? You're silly!"

The man heard what they said, and put his boy on the donkey while he walked. They had not gone far before another group saw them. One of them said, "How can the young man ride the ass, while the old man walks? That's too much."

Hearing this, the old man ordered the boy to get off, and rode the donkey himself. Soon, they heard voices behind them. There were two women. One of them said to the other, "Why is it that only the father gets to ride the ass? He's torturing the boy."

The man didn't know what to do at first. He thought and thought and finally decided to put his son up in front of him on the donkey.

Soon they reached the town. There too the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked them what they were scoffing at. The people said, "How can two heavy people ride on an ass? Aren't you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey? You're torturing the animal!"

The man and the boy got off. They had to think of what to do all over again. At last they had an idea. They took a long pole and tied the donkey's feet to it. Then they raised the pole to their shoulders and carried the donkey upside down.

The passersby could not stop laughing at the silly pair. Frustrated, the old man threw the donkey into the river, and walked home empty-handed.

The MORAL of this story:

When you try to please everybody, you won't please anybody. Those with no opinion of their own can only follow others, incapable of deciding between right and wrong and achieving nothing in the end.

PaGAGnini... Classical Music In The Key Of Comedy!

I absolutely LOVE this group PaGAGnini!!! I have just watched several video's of their performances and I'm feeling totally giddy!!! THIS IS GREAT ENTERTAINMENT! Enjoy! :)

Classical Music In The Key Of Comedy

[source: Flixxy]

'Pagagnini' bring to life some of the most treasured musical pieces in the key of comedy.

The virtuoso violinist Ara Malikian along with three more musicians not only perform some of the greatest compositions of geniuses at the level of Mozart, Pachelbel, Chopin and of course, Paganini, but also involve popular genres such as rock or folk.

The musicians play, dance, jump, laugh, cry, interact and with the audience converting the show into an original comedy where the violin and the cello transform themselves spontaneously into new and original instruments.

Laughter Came from Every Brick, A Poem ♥

Laughter Came from Every Brick

from Love Poems from God, by Daniel Ladinsky

Just these two words He spoke

changed my life,

“Enjoy Me.”

What a burden I thought I was to carry -

a crucifix, as did He.

Love once said to me, “I know a song,

would you like to hear it?”

And laughter came from every brick in the street

and from every pore in the sky.

After a night of prayer,
He changed my life when

He sang,

“Enjoy Me.”

***********************************************************

Tips to help you put more laughter in your life:

* Figure out what makes you laugh and do it (or read it or watch it) more often.

* Surround yourself with funny people — be with them every chance you get.

* Develop your own sense of humor but never at anyone else’s expense.

Celebrating the Gift of Laughter

Celebrating the Gift of Laughter

[source: CBMidwest]

"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." [Proverbs 15:13]

Recent research has demonstrated what our grandmothers always knew: LAUGHTER is GOOD MEDICINE. Humor and laughter make a significant contribution to both our physical and mental health. Learning to adopt a lighter attitude and see the funny side of everyday situations gives us the resilience we need to cope on the tough days.

Let us pause and recall that the God of joy and laughter is always abiding with us and filling us with life, with hope, with creativity and with a thirst for union with Him. We are God’s people, alive in the Spirit and called to continually celebrate His presence in our lives. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

"There is a season, and a time for every matter under heave, a time to laugh, a time to dance, a time to embrace." [Ecclesiastes 3:1,4,5]

Humor is both God’s gift and a life-saving medicine.

"There’s nothing like a good laugh. It tickles our very souls. Laughter is an activity of the heart. We scrunch our souls with negativity and a lack of enthusiasm, but laughter smoothes them out. Laughter makes a noise so others can hear our feelings.” [Tickle Your Soul, Anne Bryan Smollin]

Reflection

An aspect of a child-like spirit is joyful glee. Jesus invites us to enjoy life, to nurture our sense of humor. Our faith, and especially our prayer life is enriched through this God given gift. One of the reasons I love being around children and teenagers is that they find delight in so much of life. They find delight and wonder in so many things, and notice that which we adults often times either take for granted or simply do not see. Children then usually react without the inhibitions that we adults place upon ourselves. This reaction often takes form in laughter, joyous, bubbly laughter. The humor of life is fresh and easily accessed in the childlike spirit.

Meditation

Laughter cleanses us from discouragement, anger, apathy, and grief, making room for new feelings and thoughts. Laughter frees us from self-consciousness, anxiety, and stress. Laughter helps heal our physical ailments – it massages internal organs and strengthens the life force flowing through us. Laughter teaches us to take our troubles lightly, releasing our spirits from the weight of the world and of ourselves. Laughter unites what has been separate, connecting us to one another and to our true selves. Laughter calls forth our desire to live. Laughter, then, is a source of miracles. Surely, it’s one of the places where we can meet our God. [“Glad Day,” Joan Larkin]

Intercessions

That our hearts may always be filled with joy and thanksgiving, we pray…

For those who see no joy in life, we pray…

For those who are able to lift up our spirits, we pray…

That we realize the importance of taking care of our mental and physical health through the gift of laughter, we pray…

Let us pray:

Loving Father,

Lord of clowns and smiling saints,

we rejoice that You are a God of laughter and tears.

Blessed are You, for You have rooted within us

the gifts of humor, lightheartedness and mirth.

With jokes and comedy, You cause our hearts to sing

as laughter flows out of us.

We are grateful that Your Son, Jesus, the Master,

daily invites us to be Fools for Your sake,

to embrace the madness

of Your prophets, holy people and saints.

We delight in that Holy Madness

which becomes medicine to heal the chaos of the cosmos

since it calls each of us

from the hum-drumness of daily life

into joy, adventure,

and most of all, into FREEDOM.

With circus bands and organ grinders,

with fools, clowns, court jesters and comedians,

with high spirited angels and saints,

we too join in the fun and foolishness of life,

so that Your holy laughter

may ring out to the edges of the universe.

Blessed are You, O Lord, our God,

Who invites us to be filled with holy laughter.
♥ AMEN ♥

Buddhist Zen Cartoons To Make You LAUGH! I Just Laughed So Hard, I Cried! Enjoy :D

HUMOR: Zen Words of Wisdom... ;)

Zen Words of Wisdom...

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip... joy. With the second... satisfaction. With the third... peace. With the fourth... a danish.

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

***********************************
A student goes to the Zen Master:
"Master, what happens when you die?"
Master: "I do not know."
Student: "But you are a Zen Master!"
Master "Yes, but I am not a dead Zen Master."

***********************************

Hyakujo, the Chinese Zen master, used to labor with his pupils even at the age of eighty, trimming the gardens, cleaning the grounds, and pruning the trees.

The pupils felt sorry to see the old teacher working so hard, but they knew he would not listen to their advice to stop, so they hid away his tools.

That day the master did not eat. The next day he did not eat, nor the next. "He may be angry because we have hidden his tools," the pupils surmised. "We had better put them back."

The day they did, the teacher worked and ate the same as before. In the evening he instructed them: "No work, no food."

Jiddu Krishnamurti Telling A Joke...

Jiddu Krishnamurti telling a joke...
[source: Kitchen Chronicles: 1001 Lunches with J. Krishnamurti p. 242]

“There are three monks, who had been sitting in deep meditation for many years amidst the Himalayan snow peaks, never speaking a word, in utter silence. One morning, one of the three suddenly speaks up and says, ‘What a lovely morning this is.’ And he falls silent again. Five years of silence pass, when all at once the second monk speaks up and says, ‘But we could do with some rain.’ There is silence among them for another five years, when suddenly the third monk says, ‘Why can’t you two stop chattering?”

*********************************************************************

[source: The Kitchen Chronicles: 1001 Lunches with J. Krishnamurti p.187]

A man dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to him, "You’ve lived a fairly good life, not cheated or sinned too much. But before entering heaven I must tell you that we’re all bored here. God never laughs, and the angels are quite moody, praying most of the time. So please hesitate before entering heaven. Perhaps, you’d like to go down and see what that’s like. Then come and tell me what you prefer. But it’s up to you. Just ring that bell over there. An elevator will come up and you just get into it and go down."

So the chap rings the bell and goes down in the elevator. The doors open and he is met by the most beautiful girls, who take care of him, et cetera, et cetera. '‘By Jove", he thinks, "this is life." And he says to the girls, "May I just go and tell St. Peter?" He rings the bell, get into the elevator and goes up. He says to St. Peter, "Sir, it’s very good of you to have offered me the choice, I prefer down below." St. Peter says, "I thought you would." The man rings the bell again and goes down. The doors open and two ugly friends grab him and beat him up, pushing and kicking him. He moans, "Wait a minute. Just a little while ago you treated me like a king. And now this; why?"

"Ah, you were a tourist then."

Living Totally!

Living Totally
Alexander the Great meets Diogenes
[source: Osho International]

Those who say, "We are waiting for an opportunity," are being deceptive, and they are not deceiving anybody but themselves. The opportunity is not going to come tomorrow. It has already arrived, it has always been here. It was here even when you were not here.

Existence is an opportunity; to be is the opportunity. Don't say, "Tomorrow I will meditate, tomorrow I will love, tomorrow I will have a dancing relationship with existence." Why tomorrow? Tomorrow never comes. Why not now? Why postpone?

Postponement is a trick of the mind; it keeps you hoping, and meanwhile the opportunity is slipping by. And in the end you will come to the cul-de-sac, death -- and there will be no more opportunity left. And this has happened many times in the past.

You are not new here, you have been born and you have died many, many times. And each time the mind has played the same trick, and you have not yet learned anything.

When Alexander the Great was coming to India, he met one strange man, Diogenes. It was a winter morning, a cool breeze was blowing, and Diogenes was lying on the riverbank, taking a sunbath, naked. He was a beautiful man -- when there is a beautiful soul, a beauty arises which is not of this world.

He had nothing, not even a begging-bowl, because one day when he was going toward the river with his begging bowl to get some water to drink, he saw a dog rushing to the river. The dog jumped in the river and drank -- Diogenes laughed and he said, "This dog has taught me a lesson. If he can live without a begging bowl, then why can't I?" He threw the begging-bowl, he also jumped like the dog in the river and drank. Since then he had had nothing.

Alexander had never seen such a graceful man, such utter beauty, something from the unknown.... He was in awe and he said, "Sir..." He had never said "Sir" to anybody in his life. He said, "Sir, I am immensely impressed by your being, and I would like to do something for you. Is there something that I can do for you?

Diogenes said, "Just stand to the side because you are blocking the sun -- that's all. Nothing else do I need."

Alexander said, "If I have another chance to come to the earth I will ask God, instead of making me Alexander again, to make me Diogenes."

Diogenes laughed and he said, "Who is preventing you right now? You can become a Diogenes. Where are you going? For months I have seen armies moving and moving -- where are you going? and for what?"

Alexander said, I am going to India to conquer the whole world."

"And then what are you going to do?" Diogenes asked.

And Alexander said, "Then I will rest."

Diogenes laughed again and he said, "You are mad -- because I am resting now, and I have not conquered the world. I don't see the necessity of it. Who has told you that before resting, you have to conquer the world? And I tell you: if you don't rest now, then you never will. Something or other will always remain to be conquered... and time is fleeting. You will die in the middle of your journey -- everybody dies in the middle of the journey."

And Alexander died in the middle. When he was moving back from India, he died on the way. And that day he remembered Diogenes. Only Diogenes was in his mind -- he could never rest in his life, and that man rested.

12 Laughter Quotes To Get You Revved Up For The Weekend! Laughter And A Good Sense Of Humor Helps Us To Alleviate Any Angst And Remain Balanced In Life. ♥

 12 Laughter Quotes To Get You Ready For The Weekend!

By Various Extra-Ordinary People

1. A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. ~ by Hugh Sidey
   
   
2. A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. ~ by William Arthur Ward
   
   
3. Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. ~ by Mark Twain
   
   
4. All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other. ~ by August Wilson
   
   
5. At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~ by Jean Houston
   
   
6. Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom, if you listen. ~ by Carl Sandburg
   
   
7. Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors. ~ by Norman Cousins
   
   
8. I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry. ~ by Cat Stevens
   
   
9. I think laughter may be a form of courage. As humans we sometimes stand tall and look into the sun and laugh, and I think we are never more brave than when we do that. ~ by Linda Ellerbee
   
   
10. If love is the treasure, laughter is the key. ~ by Yakov Smirnoff
    
    
11. In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. ~ by Kahlil Gibran
    
    
12. Laughter is an instant vacation. ~ by Milton Berle

BONUS

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. ~ by Yakov Smirnoff

BONUS BONUS

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. ~ by Eileen Caddy

Zen Jokes To Help Lighten The Mood! ;)

God's Favorite Music Is LAUGHTER!

Q: What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?

A: Someone who is at two with the universe.

*********************************************************

A Buddhist nun, an atheist and a Catholic Priest are on the Titanic when the ship hits an iceberg. So they all run out on deck to get into a lifeboat.

"Women and children first!" yells the Buddhist.

"Screw the women and children!" yells the atheist.

The Catholic Priest yells,"Do you think we really have that much time?".

*********************************************************

So the Zen master steps up to the hot dog cart and says: "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The hot dog vendor puts the bill in the cash drawer and closes the drawer.

"Where's my change?" asks the Zen master.

The hot dog vendor responds: "Change must come from within."

**********************************************************

Q: What is the name of the best Zen teacher?

A: M.T. Ness

**********************************************************

Disciple: Oh wise and all knowing one, show me the place of perfect peace. Master: If I show it to you it will no longer be peaceful.

**********************************************************

Q. Have you heard of the cow who attained liberation?

A. It was dyslexic and kept on repeating OOOOMMM !

**********************************************************

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.

The head monk says "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.

Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books and crying. He asks what's wrong. "The word is 'celebrate'," says the old monk.

******************************************************

Q. What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he is working with?
A. He enters Nerdvana.

******************************************************

Three monks decided to practise meditation together. they sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then suddenly, the first one stood up and said, "I forgot my mat." He steeped miraculously onto the water in front of him and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side.

When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, "I forgot to put my other underwear to dry." He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way. The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. "Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform," he declared loudly and rushed to the water's edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water.

Undeterred, the wet monk climbed out of the water and tried again, only to sink into the water. Yet again he climbed out and yet again he tried, each time sinking into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched.

After a while, the second monk turned to the first and said, "Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?"

HUMOR: Religious Perspectives On Why Shit Happens! LMAO! ;)

Religious Perspectives On Why Shit Happens

compliments of my friend Charles

Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.

Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.

Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.

Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.

Creationism: God made all shit.

Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.

Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

Darwinism: This shit was once food.

Capitalism: That's MY shit.

Communism: It's everybody's shit.

Feminism: Men are shit.

Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

Commercialism: Let's package this shit.

Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.

Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?

Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

Mormonism: God sent us this shit.

Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.

Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.

Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.

Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?

Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.

Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.

Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.

Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?

Agnostic #3: What is this shit?

Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

Atheism: What shit?

Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!

Nihilism: No shit.

Narcisism: I am the shit

What Is Success? A Poem By Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is Success?
by Ralph Waldo Emerson

To laugh often and love much;
to win the respect of intelligent persons
and the affection of children;
to earn the approbation of honest critics

and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;

to find the best in others;
to give of one's self;
to leave the world a bit better;
whether by a healthy child;
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
to have played and laughed with enthusiasm
and sung with exultation;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived -
this is to have succeeded.

"Live, Laugh, Love" A Poem By Jill Eisnaugle ~ May This Poem Touch Your Heart And Inspire You To Embrace Life With Childlike Innocence And Joy!

Live, Laugh, Love
By Jill Eisnaugle

May every dream be yours to keep
May every joy be near
May every hour without sleep
Be one of warmth and cheer
May every beat within your heart
Be blessed with much to give
So, your path is a work of art
Each day that you shall live.

May every smile upon your face
And every childish grin
Be filled with memories to embrace
As if you’re young again
May each sunrise bring cause to view
Life’s humor for its pleasure
So, each path you choose to pursue
Yields laughter beyond measure.

May every vision in your eyes
Be for those you hold dear
May you know only brilliant skies
Where shooting stars appear
And with each shooting star, I pray
Your hopes are heard, above
So, every path to come your way
Is paved in lasting love.

Need A Laugh: 30 Decent Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid

30 Decent Ways to Say Someone Is Stupid

1. A few clowns short of a circus
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
3. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity
4. A few beers short of six-pack
5. A few peas short of a casserole
6. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
7. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead
8. One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl
9. One taco short of a combination plate
10. A few feathers short of a whole duck
11. All foam, no beer
12. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel
13. Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt
14. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
15. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
16. Too much yardage between the goalposts
17. An intellect rivalled only by garden tools
18. As smart as bait
19. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
20. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair
21. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
22. Forgot to pay his brain bill
23. Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
24. His belt doesn't go through all the loops
25. If he had another brain, it would be lonely
26. No grain in the silo
27. Proof that evolution can go in reverse
28. Receiver is off the hook
29. Several nuts short of a full pouch
30. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

WARNING: Puns Ahead! Humor To Help Us To LIGHTEN UP! :)

WARNING: Puns Ahead!

[source: Jokes Galore]

Love 'em or hate 'em, it's Pun time. Puns, or "groaners" like some folks like to call them are fun. Try 'em on your friends and relatives, but keep a straight face when you tell them and be preapared for GROANS... then you'll see why they are called so... enjoy and pass 'em on!

1.  Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

2.  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

3.  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

4.  My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

5.  Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.

6.  Practice safe eating: always use condiments.

7.  I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

8.  A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

9.  Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

10. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

11. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

13. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

14. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

15. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

16. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

17. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.

18. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

19. Banning the bra was a big flop.

20. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

21. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

22. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

23. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

24. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

25. Without geometry, life is pointless.

26. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

27. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

28. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

29. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

TANZANIA: A 7-year-old Albino Boy Had Hand Hacked Off By Attackers Collecting Body Parts Of Albinos For Witchcraft

France24 news

Tanzania boy assaulted in latest attack on albinos

written by AFP staff

Sunday February 17, 2013

Attackers collecting body parts of albinos for witchcraft have hacked off the hand of a seven-year old boy in Tanzania, the latest in a series of bloody assaults, officials said on Sunday.

"The boy was attacked on Saturday by three people as he walked home with his four school friends," said Apolinary Macheta, the local government leader in Tanzania's southwestern Milepa district.

The boy, Mwigulu Magessa, is recovering in hospital, Macheta added.

The attack came just days after an albino mother of four had her arm chopped off by machete-wielding men, with police on Saturday saying they had arrested five men after discovering the decomposing limb hidden in a field.

In Tanzania, albinos are killed and dismembered due to a widespread belief that charms made from their body parts bring good fortune and prosperity.

Albinism is a genetic condition characterised by a deficiency of melanin pigmentation in the skin, hair and eyes which protects from the sun's ultraviolet rays.

People suffering from the condition are discriminated against and persecuted in many African countries.

Last month an albino child died in Tanzania's Tabora region after attackers hacked off his arm with a machete.

Kijo Bisimba, of Tanzania's Legal and Human Rights Centre (LHRC) has said a rise in attacks is "alarming" and pointed to a renewed spate of assaults after what it said was months of calm.

Such ritual killings have also occurred in neighbouring Burundi and some of the attackers are suspected to be from Tanzania, where albino body parts can fetch thousands of dollars.

KINGDOM OF DENMARK: Danish Champion of Free Speech Almost Assassinated

BIG Peace - Breitbart.com

Danish Champion of Free Speech Almost Assassinated

written by William Bigelow

Sunday February 17, 2013

Lars Hedegaard, 70, a Danish historian and journalist was attacked by a murderous assassin whom Hedegaard described as a “typical Muslim immigrant” in his mid-twenties. Hedegaard heads the Free Press Society, which fights for journalists’ and cartoonists’ rights to free speech and was formed after the uproar from cartoons of Mohammed.

When Hedegaard opened his front door, the assassin, dressed as a postman, fired a bullet directly at his head. Only a couple of feet away, the bullet barely missed its target, and when Hedegaard punched the assassin, the gun dropped, whereupon the assassin grabbed it back and tried to shoot Hedegaard again, failing because the gun jammed. The assassin then escaped. Hedegaard is now living under police protection at a hidden location.

Interviewed a week after the attempt on his life, Hedegaard said:

We have had quite a few attempts to silence people here. [The Danish cartoonist] Kurt Westergaard was almost killed a couple of years ago by a man from Somalia who came to his house and broke into it with an axe and tried to kill him. We still have prominent politicians under police guard, the former leader of the Danish People’s Party Pia Kjærsgaard, and also the former Conservative politician Naser Khader, who is of Syrian descent, a liberal Muslim. And now me.

Hedegaard has just started to publish Dispatch International, which is tackling the issues EU, climate change, immigration and Islam, much to the chagrin of the Scandinavian media, which has remained silent. What has he gotten for his efforts? Being hauled into court for “hate-speech” two years ago, although he was unanimously acquitted.

Hedegaard was asked if he had been blind to the possibility of being attacked, since others who have spoken out have been attacked or murdered. He responded:

I never speculated about that, because you can’t live your life that way. If every time you sit down to your computer to write something you have this idea in the back of your head, “I may be killed if I write this”, then of course you won’t be as good as you could be. You’ve got to distance yourself from fear if you want to be a true writer and a true intellectual, which is what I’m trying to be.

I don’t want to brag and put myself on a level where I don’t belong, but you could have said the same thing about the White Rose in Germany, the resistance group. They ought to have known that if they said something about Nazism, they would be killed. Or you could say the same thing about the Danish resistance movement during the German occupation. It was said to them: do not go out and sabotage. Collaborate and shut up, otherwise you’ll get to a concentration camp and you’ll be executed. You could have said the same thing to Winston Churchill or the British Army — why the hell make trouble? You know what’s going to happen if you resist — you’ll be killed. Yes, and many of them were.

It’s not because I’m a hero or I want to be a martyr. Far from it. I take it seriously that people, Danish taxpayers many years ago, paid for me to get a university education at a very good university in Denmark, where I learnt about history, humanities, logic and philosophy, and English by the way. I feel an obligation to use my education for what it was meant to be. If not, then you don’t deserve to be educated. If your education is to be used to shut up, placate, downplay, sweet talk, then you are better off being a carpenter.

As to the reasons Muslims would target him, he said:

The leaders of the Ummah [Islamic nation] now evidently believe, or want to demonstrate, that Sharia law has already gained force in places like Denmark. In other words it has supplanted our constitution in their minds. Of course it didn’t use to be that way, it used to be the way that you could draw Mohammed or paint him or say whatever you wanted in the Dar al-Harb [‘The Land of War’ — as opposed to the ‘Land of Islam’] because this was outside what Islam considered to be its territory. Now they are implicitly claiming that we are already under Sharia law.

Hedegaard also indicted the media:

You can certainly say that if you are constantly presented as an enemy of the people, as I have been, then you are fair game for any lunatic. You cannot blame some lunatics for thinking that you can easily come and kill me, because if you read all this day in and day out, year in and year out, the man is an absolute lunatic and full of lies and bile and what not, you can get him with impunity. Yes, of course I think it plays a role.

As to the future:

Well, the paper survives, we are more determined than ever that they should not take us down, come what may. What happens to me, I don’t know. I am fully prepared to stay alive to the best of my ability and I am more eager than ever to write my opinion and try to bring it across. Somebody must not like what I’m saying, so that’s all the more reason to continue saying it.

Europe today, here tomorrow?

IRAQ: Al-Qaeda's Front Group Claims Deadly Baghdad Bombings That Killed 21 Innocent People, Wounding 800. At Least 158 INNOCENT Muslim PEOPLE MURDERED By Islamic Militants This Month.

Yahoo news

Al-Qaeda offshoot claims Baghdad bombings

written by Ammar Karim and Ahmed al-Rubaye, AFP

Monday February 18, 2013

Al-Qaeda's front group in Iraq has claimed a wave of bombings targeting Shiite areas of Baghdad that killed at least 21 people, in the latest violence to hit Iraq as it struggles with protests and a political crisis.

The al-Qaeda-affiliated Islamic State of Iraq (ISI) carried out the attacks "in revenge for alleged criminal acts by the Shiite-led government in Sunnis areas of the capital," said the SITE monitoring service, which tracks extremist Internet forums.

Three car bombs struck the sprawling Sadr City slum in the north of the city on Sunday, car bombs exploded in Ameen, Al-Husseiniyah and Kamaliyah in the east, and a roadside bomb blew up in Karrada in central Baghdad, security and medics there said.

Another roadside device went off in Saidiyah in the capital's south.

Al-Qaeda's front group is widely seen as weaker than during the peak of Iraq's sectarian bloodshed from 2006 to 2008, but is still capable of carrying out mass-casualty attacks on a regular basis.

Residents of Sadr City were enraged by the bombings, and hospitals in the area were quickly crowded with people searching for relatives.

"What did we do? We're always the victims of conflicts between politicians," one woman shouted.

The carnage could have been even worse.

The Baghdad Operations Command, which is responsible for security in the capital, said in a statement that security forces defused a total of six car bombs, including three in Sadr City.

Heavy security measures were put in place after the Sadr City attacks, with some areas closed off.

Gunmen also carried out two attacks in north Iraq on Sunday, killing a police captain in front of his home in Mosul and shooting dead a football player and wounding two others near Kirkuk, security and medical officials said.

The attacks brought the number of people killed in violence this month to at least 158, according to an AFP tally based on reports from security and medical officials nationwide.

The Baghdad bombings followed multiple attacks on Saturday that killed five people, including the head of Iraq's intelligence academy.

Two suicide bombers killed Brigadier General Aouni Ali and two of his guards, and more bombings resulted in the deaths of a judge and an army lieutenant.

Members of the security forces and judicial officials are also often targeted by militants in Iraq.

The latest violence comes as after nearly two months of anti-government protests centred on Sunni-majority areas in north and west Iraq, calling for the ouster of Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, a Shiite, and amid a festering political crisis.

The demonstrations were initially sparked in December by the arrest of several guards of Finance Minister Rafa al-Essawi, a leading Sunni.

The longest-running protests have blocked a key trade route linking Baghdad to both Jordan and Syria.

As the demonstrations have since expanded markedly, the government has sought to curtail them by saying it has released thousands of detainees and raised the salaries of Sunni militiamen battling Al-Qaeda extremists.

It has also restricted movements in major cities on Fridays, when the largest protests are staged.

Maliki, meanwhile, has been tussling with a political crisis that has pitted him against many of his government partners barely two months before provincial elections, the country's first since March 2010 parliamentary polls.

A team of US Congressmen met with the Iranian dissident group MEK in Paris on Sunday and threatened to declare Iraq's prime minister a sponsor of terrorism after a deadly attack on an Iranian exile camp there.

The bi-partisan team, led by Dana Rohrabacher -- the chair of the sub-committee on Europe -- expressed strong support for the People's Mujahedeen of Iran (MEK) which has accused Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei of ordering a deadly attack on its camp in Iraq on February 9.

"If there is another attack on these helpless refugees obviously cleared by the government of Iraq, we will move in the US Congress ... and put forward a resolution declaring Prime Minister Maliki and his government state sponsors of terrorism," Rohrabacher said.

PAKISTAN: Thousands Of Women Stage Sit-In In Quetta, Refusing To Bury Victims Of Weekend Bombing By Islamic Militants That Killed 89 Innocent Muslimi Civilians Until Action Taken. Last Month Suicide Bombers Killed 92.

Yahoo news

Pakistan Shiites demand protection after bombing

written by Maaz Khan, AFP

Monday February 18, 2013

of Pakistani Shiites refused for a second day Monday to bury victims of a devastating bomb attack on their community, demanding protection against record levels of sectarian violence.

Demonstrators poured onto the streets across the country, shutting down the largest city Karachi and closing the road from the capital to Islamabad airport, in angry protest at Saturday's bombing that killed at least 89 people in Quetta.

Thousands of mostly women, but also men and children, blocked a road in the southwestern city, vowing to continue their sit-in until the authorities take action against the extremists behind the attack which also wounded more than 200 people.

Two girls aged seven and nine were among the dead after the bomb, nearly a tonne of explosives hidden in a water tanker, tore through a crowded market in a neighbourhood dominated by ethnic Hazara Shiite Muslims.

On Monday, the home secretary of southwestern Baluchistan province, Akbar Hussain Durrani said the death toll from Saturday's bomb had risen to 89, including 33 Afghans, with 204 other people wounded.

"We have certain clues about terrorists involved in past attacks and targeted killings which I cannot disclose at the moment but we are working on them," Durrani told a news conference.

Last month suicide bombers killed 92 people at a snooker hall in another Hazara neighbourhood of Quetta. Protesters are furious at the authorities' failure to tackle rising attacks on Shiites.

Volunteers armed with automatic rifles and pistols Monday guarded the streets of Hazara Town, the scene of Saturday's attack, an AFP reporter saw.

It is customary for Muslims to bury the dead as soon as possible and police said they were in talks to end the protest, which has proved a powerful gesture before.

After the January 10 snooker hall attack, Shiites staged a similar protest for four days. They only buried the dead after Islamabad sacked the provincial government and imposed governor's rule in an apparent attempt to improve security.

The banned militant group Lashkar-e-Jhangvi (LeJ) claimed responsibility both for Saturday's attack and the snooker hall bombing, as well as a February 1 attack on a Shiite mosque in northwest Pakistan that killed 24.

There is anger and frustration at the apparent inability or unwillingness of the authorities to tackle the LeJ.

In Quetta Amin Shaheedi, the vice-president of the Shiite Wahdatul Muslemeen party, demanded control of the city be handed over to the army.

"Terrorists are roaming freely and we are not given any protection. Our protest will continue until we get protection," he told reporters.

Violence between Pakistan's majority Sunni Muslims and Shiites, who account for around a fifth of the country's 180 million people, has surged in recent years, with the southwestern province of Baluchistan a particular flashpoint.

Pakistan's biggest city and commercial heart Karachi came to a halt as public transport workers and traders stopped work Monday after a Shiite party called a protest strike, residents said.

Schools were closed, traffic was off the roads and attendance in offices was thin. Several political and religious parties have backed the strike call.

Protesters on the edge of the capital Islamabad also shut down the main road leading to the airport, witnesses told AFP.

In the second largest city Lahore, hundreds of Shiites demonstrated to press demands for military action against extremists in Quetta.

Attacks targeting Shiites in Pakistan have claimed almost 200 lives already this year, compared with more than 400 in the whole of 2012 -- a year which Human Rights Watch described as the deadliest on record for Shiites.

Pakistan is due to hold a general election in coming months but there are fears that rising sectarian and Islamist violence could force the postponement of polls.

In the northwest, suicide bombers stormed the offices of a top Pakistani official Monday and killed five people.

Mutahir Zeb, the government's representative in the semi-autonomous tribal district of Khyber, was unhurt. But his deputy was seriously wounded.

INDIA: A 30-year-old Woman Was Gang Raped By Four Men Who Also Video Taped Assault In The Uttar Pradesh State. My Gosh, Another Victim! >:/

Hindustan Times

Woman gangraped, filmed by four men in UP

written by Staff

Monday February 18, 2013

A 30-year-old woman was allegedly gangraped by four persons, who also made a video clip of her, in Sikri village under Bhopa police station in the district, police said in Muzaffarnagar on Monday.

The victim has alleged in her complaint that the accused entered her house when her husband was not there and raped her at gun point on Sunday evening, said Kalpana Saxena, SP Crime.

The four accused who have been identified as Naushad, Pravaiz, Kamal Hasan and Nazar are absconding, she said.

The victim said that accused also made a video clip of the incident, police said.

The victim has been sent for medical examination and investigation is on, they said.

In another incident, a 28-year-old widow was raped allegedly by her brother-in-law at Bhaderi village in the district, police said in Muzaffarnagar on Monday.

The victim's husband had died five years ago and she was living with her in-laws.

The victim has been sent for medical examination, police said.

USA: California Governor Jerry Brown Paroles 377 Convicted Killers

BIG Government

CA Gov. Brown Paroles 377 Convicted Killers

written by Ben Shapiro

Monday February 18, 2013

In 1988, Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis lost his presidential race in no small part due to the fact that he had paroled violent criminals. Taking a page from Dukakis’ book, California Governor Jerry Brown is now making a habit of paroling convicted murders. According to Brown, he expunged the records of 128 felons last year, and also gave the greenlight to parole for 377 convicted murders, a full 81 percent of all those the parole board recommended go free. Virtually all other California governors have rejected such pleas from the parole board.

Some of the murderers who will now walk the streets of California include:

•Bert Cole, 43, a former Graveyard Crip who shot a man to death after mistaking him for a competing gang member;

•Lawrence Owens, 43, who kicked and punched a man over a $20 drug deal, then watched his friend beat him to death with a concrete slab.

According to Brown, the courts have been pushing hard to release inmates slated for release by the parole board. But that’s no excuse. There may be a Willie Horton in Jerry Brown’s future – and a bevy of victims, too.

USA: Feds admit: Gun laws won't slow crime. Department of Justice report undermines bans

WND

Feds admit: Gun laws won't slow crime

written by Garth Kant

Monday February 18, 2013

A study by the Department of Justice’s research wing, the National Institute of Justice, has the feds admitting that so-called “assault weapons” are not a major contributor to gun crime.

The study also concluded those weapons are not a major factor in deaths caused by firearms, nor would an “assault weapons” ban be effective.

“The existing stock of assault weapons is large, undercutting the effectiveness of bans with exemptions,” it said. “Therefore a complete elimination of assault weapons would not have a large impact on gun homicides.”

The report finds no significant link between “assault weapons” and murders.

“Since assault weapons are not a major contributor to U.S. gun homicides and the existing stock of guns is large, an assault weapon ban is unlikely to have an impact on gun violence,” the report said.

The document, titled “Summary of Select Firearm Violence Prevention Strategies,” also sees no epidemic of mass shootings.

“Fatalities from mass shootings (those with 4 or more victims in a particular place and time) account on average for 35 fatalities per year,” the report said.

The report advises a more comprehensive approach.

“Policies that address the larger firearm homicide issue will have a far greater impact even if they do not address the particular issues of mass shootings,” the report said.

The study also found a number of reasons why gun buybacks are ineffective as generally implemented: “1. The buybacks are too small to have an impact. 2. The guns turned in are at low risk of ever being used in a crime. 3. Replacement guns are easily acquired. Unless these three points are overcome, a gun buyback cannot be effective.”

The report, by Greg Ridgeway, deputy director, said restricting large capacity magazines has a “great potential to reduce lethality,” but that would require a massive reduction in the supply.

“In order to have an impact, large capacity magazine regulation needs to sharply curtail their availability to include restrictions on importation, manufacture, sale, and possession. An exemption for previously owned magazines would nearly eliminate any impact. The program would need to be coupled with an extensive buyback of existing large capacity magazines. With an exemption the impact of the restrictions would only be felt when the magazines degrade or when they no longer are compatible with guns in circulation. This would take decades to realize.”

The report undermines most of the talking points by the Obama administration in its pursuit of more limits on guns, ammunition and accessories.

The administration’s campaign was launched following the Newtown, Conn., massacre that killed 20 students and six adults.

The report noted that a 2000 study by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms revealed that 47 percent of crime guns are obtained through a straw purchase, and another 26 percent are stolen.

“These figures indicate informal transfers dominate the crime gun market. A perfect universal background check system can address the gun shows and might deter many unregulated private sellers. However this does not address the largest sources (straw purchase and theft), which would most likely become larger if background checks at gun shows and private sellers were addressed.”

USA: Washington Democrats Sponsor Bill Allowing Police to Search Gunowners' Homes. God Help Us :/

Breitbart.com

WA Dems Sponsor Bill Allowing Police to Search Gunowners' Homes

written by Ben Shapiro

Monday February 18, 2013

In a mistake that probably wasn’t a mistake, a Washington state bill sponsored by liberal Democrats contained a little-noticed provision that would have called for the police to have the right to search private citizens’ home once per year if they own certain types of guns. According to Senate Bill 5737:

In order to continue to possess an assault weapon that was legally possessed on the effective date of this section, the person possessing shall ... safely and securely store the assault weapon. The sheriff of the county may, no more than once per year, conduct an inspection to ensure compliance with this subsection.

In other words, kiss the Fourth Amendment goodbye. Liberal lawmakers behind the bill claim they have no knowledge of the provision – which, of course, begs the question as to how the provision got into the bill in the first place. “I have to admit it shouldn’t be in there,” said Sen. Ed Murray (D-Seattle). “I made a mistake,” said Sen. Adam Kline (D-Seattle). “I frankly should have vetted this more closely.”

This was likely no mistake. It’s hard to believe that a bill could advance this far without anyone reading it for such an obvious violation of Constitutional principles. But in an age of ever-bigger government and ever-smaller rights, anything is possible.

BULGARIA: Thousands Join Street Rallies Across Bulgaria As Protests Against High Utility Bills Snowball Into Bitter Anger Against Government And Energy Monopoly

February 17, 2013- Kiril Yankov shared this video and wrote, "Thousands of people from many cities in Bulgaria went out to protest against government and energy monopoly. Average price per kW/h in Bulgaria is around 9 euro cents, where minimum wage is 130 euro (170 USD). Until now government is encouraging monopoly in Bulgaria, separating energy market into 3 regions and letting one foreign company to operate alone in each. The governmental instrument for regulations is taking measures during the years, that were not in people's best.

 

In the past people used to protest against some Bulgarian mobile telecoms too, for wrong and sky high bills, but then all media channels closed their eyes, and unofficially stated that they will not stream against their prime advertisers - Bulgarian telecoms. Now it is different. People had enough."

AFP

Thousands join anti-government rallies across Bulgaria

written by Staff

Monday February 18, 2013

SOFIA — Several thousand people joined street rallies across Bulgaria on Monday as initial protests against high electricity bills snowballed into bitter anger against the right-wing government of Prime Minister Boyko Borisov.

Between 1,500 and 2,000 protesters marched on parliament in downtown Sofia on Monday evening, shouting "Mafia!", "Resign!" and "Garbage!"

Over 2,000 also gathered in the Black Sea city of Varna where the rallies against the power utilities began last week, while several thousand more joined smaller marches in at least nine other cities, the state news agency BTA reported.

In Sofia, protesters clashed with police outside parliament and hurled stones at the building, breaking several windows, an AFP reporter saw.

Gendarmes with shields and batons were deployed to disperse the crowd, which moved on to block traffic at key downtown boulevards for hours.

The interior ministry later said four demonstrators were detained.

"This is no longer just against the high electricity bills. Down with the whole politics of this government!" a 42-year-old unemployed construction engineer told AFP at the rally.

"Djankov went, now is Boyko's turn," the woman added, referring to the sacking earlier Monday of Bulgaria's unpopular Finance Minister Simeon Djankov amid the snowballing street protests.

"We've lived through communism and remember the personality cult towards (the dictator) Todor Zhivkov. But what we have now surpasses it -- it's Boyko for breakfast, Boyko for lunch, Boyko for dinner, while people don't have anything to eat. We're fed up!" said another protestor who also said he was afraid to give his name.

Analysts commented Monday that the once hugely popular premier has indeed lost sway with voters disillusioned over growing poverty and widespread corruption and favouritism.

With elections just five months away, support for Borisov's minority right-wing government has eroded to about 22 percent, about the same as for the opposition Socialists, a recent Gallup poll showed.

RUSSIA: Badly Beaten Body Of Abducted Russian Lawmaker Found In Barrel Of Cement

Associated Press

Russian Lawmaker's Body Found Cemented In Barrel

written by Staff

Monday February 18, 2013

MOSCOW — The body of a Russian lawmaker was found cemented in a barrel, and a former government official has been accused of ordering the killing over an $80 million debt, officials said Monday.

Mikhail Pakhomov, 37, went missing last week. He was a member of the local legislature in Lipetsk, a city some 350 kilometers (some 215 miles) south of Moscow. He was last seen last Tuesday when three unidentified men pushed him into a car outside a restaurant in Lipetsk and drove away.

Russia's Investigative Committee says several suspects were detained, and that authorities found Pakhomov's badly beaten body in a barrel of cement in a garage.

Russian television stations aired footage provided by police that showed a fragment of a barrel, pieces of concrete and officers carrying what appeared to be Pakhomov's body on a stretcher and loading it into a vehicle.

The Investigative Committee said Yevgeny Kharitonov is being held on suspicion of ordering the killing of Pakhomov, allegedly over the $80 million debt. Kharitonov is a former deputy minister for communal services in the Moscow region's provincial government.

The committee's spokesman, Vladimir Markin, said that one of the detained suspects told investigators that Kharitonov had told them that he had to recover the debt to advance his career.

"For Kharitonov, career was the main priority," Markin said in a statement.

Russian news reports said Kharitonov was detained by police at Moscow's Sheremetyevo airport while preparing to board a flight to the southern city of Krasnodar.

It wasn't immediately clear if Kharitonov had retained a lawyer.

NORTH KOREA: The Communist Government Uses Cash Couriers, False Names To Outwit Sanctions. "China May Know, But Wink At It."

The Times of India

North Korea uses cash couriers, false names to outwit sanctions

written by Reuters staff

Monday February 18, 2013

SEOUL/UNITED NATIONS - Kim Kwang-jin says that when he worked for North Korea's state insurance company in Singapore in 2003, he stuffed $20 million into two suitcases one day and sent it to Pyongyang as a special gift for then leader Kim Jong-il.

He received a medal for that, Kim Kwang-jin said.

North Korea, sanctioned by the United States since the 1950s and later by the United Nations after its nuclear tests, has been shuffling money for decades from illicit drugs, arms and financial scams and is now more expert at hiding it to fund its weapons programmes and its leaders' opulent lifestyles.

"There is tremendous difficulty identifying bank accounts," said a South Korean government source who is directly involved in yet another sanctions push in the U.N. Security Council after the North conducted a third nuclear test this week.

A source who has access to the top levels of government in both North Korea and China, its only major ally, told Reuters that Pyongyang was not afraid of sanctions and was considering two more nuclear tests and a rocket launch this year.

"It is confident agricultural and economic reforms will boost grain harvests this year, reducing its food reliance on China," said the source.

With limited trade and natural resources, Pyongyang's revenues are heavily reliant on money-making scams ranging from fake $100 bills to arms sales and drugs money, according to reports by the U.S. government. Some diplomats and officials call it "The Soprano State" after the U.S. television series.

In 2005, $25 million of the regime's cash was frozen at Macau-based Banco Delta Asia, which was designated a "primary money laundering concern" by the U.S. Treasury.

That case stands as practically the only public success in seizing funds from the isolated country that is now led by 30-year-old Kim Jong-un, the third of the Kim dynasty to rule.

The $25 million was released after protracted negotiations led by Kim Kye-gwan, the North's long-standing negotiator with the United States, and U.S. envoy Christopher Hill, officials present at the talks said.

Pyongyang has learned from that episode and buried its funds even deeper, said the South Korean official, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

"The bank accounts are split up a lot," the official said, meaning the money is divided into small amounts so that a freeze on one account would not greatly affect the total.

The official has tried to identify North Korean funds for years and was involved in previous sanctions pushes, although he said that identifying accounts and transactions was near impossible because of the use of fake names.

The insurance scam

Kim Kwang-jin, now living as a defector in South Korea, said the $20 million sent to Kim Jong-il in 2003 came from insurance scams by Pyongyang's Korea National Insurance Corp (KNIC), which exaggerated claims from re-insurers and underwriters for events such as weather damage, ship and aircraft losses.

When contacted by Reuters by telephone and email, KNIC was not immediately available for comment.

Kim Kwang-jin said the money from the scams he participated in was funneled into what he termed North Korea's "royal court fund" - money for Kim Jong-il and his inner circle.

"Kim Jong-il sent a letter of thanks to the people in my company (KNIC). And some of us received presents like DVD players and blankets. I later got a medal too," said the 46-year-old.

Unlike oil-exporting Iran, which is heavily sanctioned by the United States and United Nations as well as others, North Korea's puny $50 billion economy produces few goods other than minerals and seafood sold to China. Its trade with China was put by Beijing at $5.7 billion in 2011.

The U.S. Treasury Department's Financial Crimes Enforcement Center estimated in 2005 that North Korea may earn as much as $500 million annually from counterfeiting, and another $100 million to $200 million annually from narcotics trafficking.

In just one known example of its role as a "narco-state", a North Korean ship was raided by the Australian navy in 2003 and found to be carrying $50 million worth of heroin, according to the government in Canberra.

Kim Kwang-jin, who defected in 2003 with his family in Singapore, estimated the Pyongyang "royal court" fund at $4.5 billion, of which $2 billion was inside North Korea, $2 billion overseas and a further $500 million in the underground economy of various countries. He said he derived the estimates from his experience as a senior officer handling funds for North Korea.

It was not possible to verify Kim's estimate, although other estimates made by defectors and academics are roughly similar.

The South Korean government source said that part of the new sanctions regime would include trying to intercept shipments of suitcases stuffed with cash to Pyongyang which enable North Korea to evade sanctions on banks.

'Bulk cash' method

North Korea often uses its diplomats and other officials to ferry cash, according to Kim and other defectors and diplomats. This method, called "bulk cash", is largely untraceable.

U.S. diplomats said new sanctions against North Korea that the Security Council might consider could be to add more names to a U.N. blacklist and measures similar to those in place for Iran, which include a U.N. arms embargo, a variety of asset freezes and a ban on some banking relations.

In addition, "you can strengthen the provisions to do with enforcing embargoes, inspecting ships", said a senior U.N. diplomat, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Ship inspections have been a feature of the North Korean sanctions regime for a long time. Under a Security Council resolution, U.N. member states can inspect North Korean sea, air and land cargo, and seize and destroy any goods transported in violation of sanctions imposed for its nuclear tests.

North Korean ships have been inspected in India, Thailand, and the United Arab Emirates as well as on the high seas.

Another area where U.N. sanctions could be strengthened is enforcement, especially in China, diplomats say. U.N. experts who monitor sanctions violations have said Pyongyang regularly flouts the sanctions, sometimes by shipping banned goods such as weapons via China.

"If the Chinese would be willing to inspect half of what goes through Dalian harbor, that would be big," said George Lopez, a former U.N. North Korea sanctions monitor, now at the University of Notre Dame.

China's central bank and foreign ministry did not respond to requests for comment as it was the Lunar New Year holiday.

But the source with access to top officials in both countries said China would again support U.N. sanctions, although he declined to comment on what level of sanctions it would be willing to endorse.

"There will be new sanctions which will be harsh. China is likely to agree to it," he said, without elaborating.

He said however that Beijing would not cut food and fuel supplies to North Korea, a measure that it reportedly took after a previous nuclear test.

The Hong Kong link

In January, the Security Council added a raft of companies to a list of sanctioned entities in response to North Korea's long-range rocket launch late last year, which violated a ban on Pyongyang from developing missile or nuclear technology.

These included a company called Leader (Hong Kong) International, listed with a Hong Kong address that was named as a subsidiary of Korea Mining Development Corp., the country's main arms dealer and exporter of ballistic missile technology, according to the U.S. Treasury.

Checks by Reuters journalists at multiple addresses associated with the company in China and Hong Kong turned up no direct trace of the company or its managers.

Corporate records show the Hong Kong address for a similarly named company, Leader (Hong Kong) International Trading Ltd, as the same as that listed in the U.N. report, although the office moved in 2007.

A Chinese public security branch office is situated at an address listed for that company's director in Dalian, about 300 km (185 miles) from the North Korean border.

"Companies and individuals are using different names. China may know, but wink at it," Kim, the defector, said.